I have always longed for deep friendship. It is rather embarrassing to discover in the middle of ones life one of the important causes for this. It is not that I had no friends; I had a lot of friends. But I longed for deep friends.

Perhaps this was because I was separated from my father at an early age. As I began to explore becoming more intimate with God, I asked Him to teach me how to do this. I didn't quite know how to pursue this relationship with Him.

I was rather surprised one of the first steps in becoming more intimate with Him was for Him to teach me about friendship. Fortunately, it didn't take long for the penetrating message to sink deep into my friendship-craving heart. The Lord was to be my friend, not just my master. I sensed the Lord's presence as I thought through these penetrating messages.

A friend accepts you as you are.

A friend likes to spend time with you.

Upon reading this later statement, I was humbled. I realized that I have spent time with Him but that He wanted more time. He wanted me to drop listening to a radio station in order to spend more focused time with Him. I could sense the tension in my soul. I was an active guy. I liked working on projects. It was hard for me to slow down and just be friends.

I was determined this close relationship was what I really desired. I even sensed that my childhood difficulty was allowed to shape my desires for deeper intimacy. I made the necessary commitments to follow up more deliberate and concentrated times with Him alone. A bit later I was in my study reading an article on intimacy.

As I was reading, one of my sons came up to my study to review his math with me. He was having difficulty with one problem. Actually, for some reason I couldn't understand his second grade book's instructions either. I told him just to do the part of the problem that was clear. I guess my suggestion was too nonconformist. He just couldn't accept my words. I wanted to read my article on intimacy and here my son was disturbing me. Shortly afterwards, I cast him from my study until he could compose himself.

But the Spirit of God was already working in my heart. I clearly saw the Lord's displeasure. Here I was trying to spend time with the Lord, but I wasn't even able to patiently put up with my son. The verse from I Corinthians 13 was convicting me, "Love is patient."

My heart was greatly humbled. I didn't want my Heavenly Father to treat me the way I treated my son! I must not treat God or my son in this way. I apologized to them both. My problem was cleverly identified, "A friend likes to spend time with a friend." I needed to be a true friend myself. I must spend time with those around me that I say I love.

The Lord didn't waste a second. Not long afterwards my 9 year-old daughter entered my study. I found out that she didn't go out with the others to invite children to our next week's Bible Club. I was prompted that this was another opportunity to spend extra time with someone - to be a friend. So I ignored what I was doing and like Jesus would have done, spent time with my girl. This turned out to be the most significant conversation I ever had with her!

She had been having lots of troubles with fears. So I began to share from the scriptures some verses where the Lord had told her not to fear and worry. At first she didn't want to pray, but after I prayed for her and freed her mind to think clearly, she was willing. She repeated a repentance and forgiveness prayer after me, line by line. I then asked her in a prayerful spirit to share what fears were on her heart. After a moment, she said the fear of sickness and the fear of embarrassment. After this prayer and further conversation about salvation matters, she left free and happy as a lark. God had taken away her long-standing stomachache. God had delivered her from those oppressive fears.

How thankful I am that I took time to be with my daughter rather than chasing her out of my study for privacy. I am by God's grace trying to give that special focus to each person I meet that I might discern whether the Lord wants to give any special love to them. I need so much help in this area, but what an exciting start!

A friend must be a friend. When walking with Jesus, I need to pause with Him when He wants to spend extra time with people even though I might be busy. Next