Singles and Purity: The Power to Run

Do singles need to run the race for purity?

Many singles think they are in a whole different world before they are marriedd. Think of the typical bachelor party. Does it not speak of the expected freedoms during bachelor life? Many singles find a subtle permission from their parents to indulge in their youthful lusts. The parents often have done the same in their youth and they turned out 'good people!' They have a difficult time seeing how their early compromises has polluted How do you celebrate the bachelor's party? their lives. They are used to a poor marriage and have no concept of a good marriage. They do not know anything better. They think it is good to 'love' it up a bit before they end up having a poor binding marriage. "Just don't get into any trouble," it is said. So often the father will inadvertently encourage his young man to indulge in pornography and watch certain movies. They seem to think it is training for manhood.

For many single people, they do not think that purity makes any big difference in their lives. In fact, they think it qualifies them to pick a better wife!

So our question has evolved into two other questions. Is purity of thought in singleness expected from the Lord? And secondly, is purity of life as a single really better?

Does the Lord expect singles to be pure in heart?

Although this question might seem trivial to some and rather obvious to others, we need to clarify what the Lord really wants. He is our Maker and Designer. He knows what is best for us. Any booklet accompanied some machine tells the owner what he should and should not do. So what does our God say about singleness? One of the best passages in the scriptures defining the needed focus of young people seriously upon God's and His will.

     "Prescribe and teach these things.
      Let no one look down on your youthfulness,
     but [rather] in speech, conduct, love, faith [and] purity,
     show yourself an example of those who believe." (I Timothy 4:11-12)

Youth are not exempted from a pursuit of purity or holiness. One of the big tricks from the evil one is to convince people that it doesn't matter what one does before marriage just so you don't hurt anyone. Frankly, any kind of impurity causes pain to others even if it is with the consent of others. This is why certain things are forbidden in the scriptures. They go contrary to the principle of loving God and loving our fellow man.

Let's just look at one passage which incorporates a general perspective we have been driving at in these last pages. Some people just evaluate their behavior on bodily functions as some did in Jesus' time. Note Jesus' twofold observation. The diagram on the left describes how food descends the harmless digestive tract. However, evil proceeds from our inner heart – the source of our will and expression. With respect to our discussion on sexual sins, we see three layers of evil in our hearts:

Our hearts are the source of evil;
Our heart is able to replicate its evil, and
We see our evil heart manifesting itself in lustful thoughts, words and actions.


"... Do you not understand that whatever goes into the man from outside cannot defile him; because it does not go into his heart, but into his stomach, and is eliminated? ... " (Mark 7:18-19).	"And He was saying, "That which proceeds out of the man, that is what defiles the man. For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries, deeds of coveting [and] wickedness, [as well as] deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride [and] foolishness. All these evil things proceed from within and defile the man." (Mark 7:20-23)

In summary, we find that clearly marriage is not the source of sins. Sexual sins are seen as an issue between how our hearts find expression in this world. Single and married people both can have sexual sins. The difference is that married people have an extra vow of fidelity that they are breaking and that the consequences are worse. Any sexual lusts in form of thoughts, words or deeds are evil no matter what stage in life we are at. A young teen or retired steel have their sexual lusts springing out of their own hearts. The question is whether we are going to repent from them and have God's Spirit change our hearts or just perpetuate this sin.

A single person should not be deluded about the possibility or need to remain totally sexually pure. He gains, his future wife gains, his future children gain, his soul gains, and the whole society profits in a person's willingness to remain sexually pure. If we have fallen, and most of us have by time this is read, now is the time to repent and go through the steps in confession outlined in another part of this section. Let's not loose a moment in capturing each moment for our great Lord.