Marriage Breakdown: Detecting a Modern Mindset

Marriage is one institution that is under siege. Unbiblical views are commonly being taught as normal, and these views in turn are infiltrating the young bride and bridegroom's mind set. Those who are infected by the germs of the 'modern' spirit1 display similar symptoms depending on how far the disease has spread.

"But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God; (2 Timothy 3:1-4).

How many of these modern 'values' are acceptable to you?

Ambivalence

"People have a right to their own lives. They can choose what they want. I can't judge what another does and neither can you."

We need to understand that by 'alternative life-style' people do not speak about being married or single as two options. They mean they can have sex with whoever they choose, married or not. God has instead chosen that sex is for marriage only; sexual purity for singles.

Arrogance

"My feelings tell me what is correct. Others can do what they want. I need to do what I feel is best."

A person makes judgement on what he or she feels at a certain moment rather than according to God's standards. They do not see it inconsistent to change their perspectives or partners.

Uncommitted

"Marriage is wonderful for those it works out for. Right now things are going well for my marriage. I can't tell the future, though. I am no prophet."

Although some people have committed themselves to marriage, they do not mean marriage for life. They mean marriage for as long as it works out for everyone involved. . They are willing to contemplate ending the marriage arrangement and initiating a new one if conditions necessitate it. Divorce is acceptable.

Lovers of self

"I don't know about others. I know only about what I need. If I don't care for myself, no one else will."

These people are focused on their own desires. They are not concerned with the needs of their spouse or any children that might be born from them. Sacrifice is a rare word.

Lovers of pleasure

"I like how it feels. That is the way God made me. Maybe you aren't like this. I know what I like and nobody is going to stop me."

They tolerate pornography and sensual scenes as normal. If these pleasures must be sought outside of marriage, then they take that path. Lust not love rules.

These unbiblical perspectives are now being inserted into the couple before marriage and are being taken right into their marriages. People would not normally invite disease into their bodies, but this is essentially what they are doing by allowing these temptations to be implanted in their marriages. Any of the above perspectives will destroy a marriage. Will you allow your children to marry those with such attitudes that defy God's creation manual.

A good understanding and commitment to biblical marriage is crucial to protect ones marriage from being impacted by this New World. The fight is worth living and dying for.

Negatively speaking, those that have given up their original convictions and have fallen into despicable lifestyles are paying a great price. From an objective view, we can see how they pursue their selves and lack all true notion of love. These people suffer great pain: physically, emotionally and spiritually. Children are absolutely devastated. Any statistics reveal these troubling trends.

Positively speaking, marriage remains to be God's beautiful design that provides the most wonderful and intimate relationships possible. Strong godly marriages are the foundation of happy and godly children. Before we could depend upon the support of the culture to counter any personal weaknesses. This cultural buffer zone is being virtually eliminated. We need strong biblical values to stand against this naked threat of destruction.

Thoughts to Reflect On

Have you as a couple reflected on what you believe about marriage, its design, purpose and guidelines? Do you think an unforgiving spirit is tolerable? Do you solve arguments God's way? Do you foster an independent spirit or a dependent spirit between the two of you? Is marriage for life or for as long as it works? How does a man meet the needs of his wife? Does the wife really need to be submissive? Can a husband rightly let the wife run the marriage? What do you think about having lots of children? These and many other questions help reveal what we believe and why. Our answers reveal whether we are living according to God's model or to some other.